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Sunday, December 16, 2012
Tune out!
Turn off the T.V. Walk away from idle talk about the recent tragedy. Drop onto your knees and pray. Pray for those families. Pray for the world. PRAY!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
I wish....
I wish I had been born with a different disposition. I wish I could shrug off the unthinking, hurtful things that people do and say. I wish I didn't take everything so personally. I wish I knew how others expect me to respond to things. ( maybe pretending would satisfy them) I wish people could make their expectations apparent and reasonable.
I wish I could solve the worlds problems and wave a magic wand and have everyone treat everyone with kindness, compassion and mercy. I would wipe away world hunger and poverty, I would insure that every child and every animal and every person was treated with love, dignity and respect. If I had a dollar for every wish I wished I would be rich.
God made of me a mother, not only of children but friends and loved ones. He put me through hard dark times to give me a unique understanding. God made me with a desire to serve, to be everything that he wants me to be. God made of me a teacher, to reach and teach the heart and minds of students. God made me in his image to act in a way that allows people to see him through me. God did not promise an easy road, in fact he promised it would be difficult.
God's love is sufficient but honestly I wish he'd throw in some armor to protect my heart.
I pray often for the strength to do my job, the continued drive to keep up the good fight, I pray for motivation and wisdom and the ability to reach the unreachable. God answered that prayer and things were going well. Then the world put's it foot out and trips you up.
I wish I could say that it doesn't stop me in my tracks. That is doesn't send me spiraling down into sadness and despair. I wish I could say " I'm doing the best I can" then just keep my chin up and keep smiling. I wish.... Truth is it makes it hard to do anything but withdraw. It is hard do my job and talk with people. It makes me wonder why I put so much of myself out there for people.
You can do everything in the world to be everything to everyone and it won't be good enough. Your humanity and your faults will trip you up. Unthoughtful or hurtful people will try to push you down. Happenstance and humanness will keep you from perfection. You will try something new, you will try to do what is expected and it will fail. If you are me, it will always cut deep. It will always make it hard to get up and continue.
I will still praise God,. God made me this way but I still wish I had been born with a different disposition.
I wish I could solve the worlds problems and wave a magic wand and have everyone treat everyone with kindness, compassion and mercy. I would wipe away world hunger and poverty, I would insure that every child and every animal and every person was treated with love, dignity and respect. If I had a dollar for every wish I wished I would be rich.
God made of me a mother, not only of children but friends and loved ones. He put me through hard dark times to give me a unique understanding. God made me with a desire to serve, to be everything that he wants me to be. God made of me a teacher, to reach and teach the heart and minds of students. God made me in his image to act in a way that allows people to see him through me. God did not promise an easy road, in fact he promised it would be difficult.
God's love is sufficient but honestly I wish he'd throw in some armor to protect my heart.
I pray often for the strength to do my job, the continued drive to keep up the good fight, I pray for motivation and wisdom and the ability to reach the unreachable. God answered that prayer and things were going well. Then the world put's it foot out and trips you up.
I wish I could say that it doesn't stop me in my tracks. That is doesn't send me spiraling down into sadness and despair. I wish I could say " I'm doing the best I can" then just keep my chin up and keep smiling. I wish.... Truth is it makes it hard to do anything but withdraw. It is hard do my job and talk with people. It makes me wonder why I put so much of myself out there for people.
You can do everything in the world to be everything to everyone and it won't be good enough. Your humanity and your faults will trip you up. Unthoughtful or hurtful people will try to push you down. Happenstance and humanness will keep you from perfection. You will try something new, you will try to do what is expected and it will fail. If you are me, it will always cut deep. It will always make it hard to get up and continue.
I will still praise God,. God made me this way but I still wish I had been born with a different disposition.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Tragedy in the classroom
The following is my opinion about the state of Education and in no way is intended to portray any school, district administration or teaching staff. I am not responsible for assumptions made by person's reading this blog.
When I was a kid, the classroom was a place of learning. Students sat in rows and didn't speak unless spoken to. Students were respectful and worked hard. When a student dared to test the rules of the class, there was swift justice, not only in the principles office but also at home.
What happens in some classrooms these days does not resemble that classroom. Not all changes are bad. Technology and hands on lesson plans that engage kids and allow them to experience the learning instead of listening to it described is a great advancement. Differentiation to meet the needs of your highest and your lowest performing is a lofty and worthy goal that should be lauded.
As a parent of three gifted girls I have greatly appreciated the effort made by the teachers at Anderson-ShiroCISD to meet their needs and keep them interested. Tragedy however hovers close by. Laws made by well intending, but clueless lawmakers, saddle the districts with huge responsibility but don't provide proper funds to implement such mandates. Under the mistaken belief that Standardized testing will help insure a well educated populous. People who don't stand on the front lines in teaching, create standards and tests that serve to stifle creativity and innovation in the classroom.
Teachers are desperately getting the entire year of learning squeezed into the first 7 months because it's all on the test. The breakneck pace that is required leaves dozens of children behind. Then students are tutored outside the classroom and continue to fall farther behind their piers. There is just not enough time in the day to reach enough students. Interventions are also required by law for these students, but arbitrary caps, limits the number of students that can be served at each level. Every couple years these same people raise the difficulty of the tests. No Child Left Behind was a grand idea. What an awesome goal; 100% of children passing state mandated tests by 2014. But NCLB is not reality. Continuing to believe in it, is detrimental to our schools. Legislative bodies will continue to make decrees from on high that no one without the perfect situation will be able to meet. God has created children of all different kinds. Not all children are endowed with the same gifts or interests. State and Federal governments have their hand in a pie that is leaving a bad taste in the mouth of educators in classroom around the U.S.
Laws about what can and can't be done about abhorrent behavior in the classroom, tie the hands of Administrators and Teachers. Students who disrupt the learning environment, disrespect and bully their classmates and teachers and refuse to attend to lessons or do classwork can't be removed from the classroom without a mountain of documentation. While the documentation is gathered the student continues to make class a living hell for classmates and teachers.
The world of Education has changed in more ways than just innovation and laws. The misguided politically correct philosophy that we must be "fair" is ruining our students. Years ago when my 2nd child was nearing her Kindergarten Graduation another mother, Dena and I looked at the handmade and nearly see through smocks that served as the graduation robes for the last fifty years and decided we needed a more modern version. We approached the principle about fundraising for new modern robes and were given the blessing to go ahead.
Having 3 girls who would wear a robe and Dena having 3 that would wear a robe, we offered parents the option to purchase their own so that they would have a keepsake to be worn by all our children. Our fundraising covered the cost of 46 graduation gowns needed for the large kindergarten class with a few extra for future growth.
As we were completing the orders, the assistant principle told us that it was "unfair" for some parents to be allowed to buy their robe. "What about the parents who can't afford to buy it? What about little Johnny who sees Casey go home with a robe and he can't? It's not fair!" I place that in quotes because it is the actual words that came out of her mouth. My response was that Johnny needs to understand that his mom and dad don't have the money and Casey's do. Simple as that. If Johnny views this as an injustice maybe it encourages him to do well in school so he can go to college and be more successful than his parents were able. Johnny learns that life is what you make it. Life isn't fair. It's a dog eat dog world and we do a dis-service to our kids when we don't allow them to learn this important lesson early.
The fourth change to the classroom is the huge number of children dealing with family issues. Parents divorced, separated jailed or absent. Students who are latch key and virtually raise themselves on junk food and violent T.V and video games. Students who run the streets because parents are working or self absorbed. Parents fight custody battles in front of the children and bad mouth the other parent to the child when given the chance. I have witnessed this more than I care to remember. I myself am divorced but my son will attest the the fact that I did not involve my son in any issues I had with his father. We worked together for the good of Adrian. We even went on cub scout camping trips with the ex in the tent next to my husbands and mine. We knew it was all about the our son, not ourselves or our issues.
As many children today, I was often home alone, as are my own children. My parents both worked hard as do my husband and I. My parents had rules that we knew had to be followed and we respected our parents for them. We were taken to church, taught about respect and what it looked like. We were taught morals and values at home. My husband and I have rules that are children follow. We take them to church and have taught them respect, morals and values beginning at an early age, the kids respect us and follow the rules.
Another nail in the coffin of public education is reality shows and video games, Snooky. Teen Mom and Grand Theft Auto as the blueprint for dreams of what kids want out of life. God help us! Children as young as 3 watching R rated movies and emulating what they see. We have young kids shooting there friends because they "disrespected them" The young mind is not developed enough. It really doesn't make a firm line between what is real and acceptable behavior and what they see on T.V and in video games. Violence spreads like a disease in American schools
The final nail in the coffin is the growing belief by people who have never been in a classroom that a teacher's pay should be tied to their students test scores. I try daily to make my classroom a safe and engaging place for my students. I believe that all children are capable of great things. I know that not all children have the same aptitude and must be treated as individuals. I am attempting to have 44 individual plans for the 44 students in my care. (Seriously, current thinking says this is what should happen!) I have no control over the laws or the environments my students come from. I work hard to make it interesting, fun and collaborative. I work my butt off to form relationships with kids and keep parents informed. Sometimes this is not enough and some people think my pay should be based on my students success on state tests. This year the criteria for passing the test will be decided after the students take it! As one intelligent man said. "It's throw the dart, and draw the target later." What if I tested like this? It must be fair, cause we are doing it to our children. If the people who want to connect student success with teacher pay get their way' you can write off all of the schools in low income areas. Teacher's will leave economically disadvantaged schools for higher ground. It will be impossible to find qualified teachers to teach at some schools. Those children will suffer. Those children will lose. We will all lose.
What do you think could be done to turn this tragedy around?
When I was a kid, the classroom was a place of learning. Students sat in rows and didn't speak unless spoken to. Students were respectful and worked hard. When a student dared to test the rules of the class, there was swift justice, not only in the principles office but also at home.
What happens in some classrooms these days does not resemble that classroom. Not all changes are bad. Technology and hands on lesson plans that engage kids and allow them to experience the learning instead of listening to it described is a great advancement. Differentiation to meet the needs of your highest and your lowest performing is a lofty and worthy goal that should be lauded.
As a parent of three gifted girls I have greatly appreciated the effort made by the teachers at Anderson-ShiroCISD to meet their needs and keep them interested. Tragedy however hovers close by. Laws made by well intending, but clueless lawmakers, saddle the districts with huge responsibility but don't provide proper funds to implement such mandates. Under the mistaken belief that Standardized testing will help insure a well educated populous. People who don't stand on the front lines in teaching, create standards and tests that serve to stifle creativity and innovation in the classroom.
Teachers are desperately getting the entire year of learning squeezed into the first 7 months because it's all on the test. The breakneck pace that is required leaves dozens of children behind. Then students are tutored outside the classroom and continue to fall farther behind their piers. There is just not enough time in the day to reach enough students. Interventions are also required by law for these students, but arbitrary caps, limits the number of students that can be served at each level. Every couple years these same people raise the difficulty of the tests. No Child Left Behind was a grand idea. What an awesome goal; 100% of children passing state mandated tests by 2014. But NCLB is not reality. Continuing to believe in it, is detrimental to our schools. Legislative bodies will continue to make decrees from on high that no one without the perfect situation will be able to meet. God has created children of all different kinds. Not all children are endowed with the same gifts or interests. State and Federal governments have their hand in a pie that is leaving a bad taste in the mouth of educators in classroom around the U.S.
Laws about what can and can't be done about abhorrent behavior in the classroom, tie the hands of Administrators and Teachers. Students who disrupt the learning environment, disrespect and bully their classmates and teachers and refuse to attend to lessons or do classwork can't be removed from the classroom without a mountain of documentation. While the documentation is gathered the student continues to make class a living hell for classmates and teachers.
The world of Education has changed in more ways than just innovation and laws. The misguided politically correct philosophy that we must be "fair" is ruining our students. Years ago when my 2nd child was nearing her Kindergarten Graduation another mother, Dena and I looked at the handmade and nearly see through smocks that served as the graduation robes for the last fifty years and decided we needed a more modern version. We approached the principle about fundraising for new modern robes and were given the blessing to go ahead.
Having 3 girls who would wear a robe and Dena having 3 that would wear a robe, we offered parents the option to purchase their own so that they would have a keepsake to be worn by all our children. Our fundraising covered the cost of 46 graduation gowns needed for the large kindergarten class with a few extra for future growth.
As we were completing the orders, the assistant principle told us that it was "unfair" for some parents to be allowed to buy their robe. "What about the parents who can't afford to buy it? What about little Johnny who sees Casey go home with a robe and he can't? It's not fair!" I place that in quotes because it is the actual words that came out of her mouth. My response was that Johnny needs to understand that his mom and dad don't have the money and Casey's do. Simple as that. If Johnny views this as an injustice maybe it encourages him to do well in school so he can go to college and be more successful than his parents were able. Johnny learns that life is what you make it. Life isn't fair. It's a dog eat dog world and we do a dis-service to our kids when we don't allow them to learn this important lesson early.
The fourth change to the classroom is the huge number of children dealing with family issues. Parents divorced, separated jailed or absent. Students who are latch key and virtually raise themselves on junk food and violent T.V and video games. Students who run the streets because parents are working or self absorbed. Parents fight custody battles in front of the children and bad mouth the other parent to the child when given the chance. I have witnessed this more than I care to remember. I myself am divorced but my son will attest the the fact that I did not involve my son in any issues I had with his father. We worked together for the good of Adrian. We even went on cub scout camping trips with the ex in the tent next to my husbands and mine. We knew it was all about the our son, not ourselves or our issues.
As many children today, I was often home alone, as are my own children. My parents both worked hard as do my husband and I. My parents had rules that we knew had to be followed and we respected our parents for them. We were taken to church, taught about respect and what it looked like. We were taught morals and values at home. My husband and I have rules that are children follow. We take them to church and have taught them respect, morals and values beginning at an early age, the kids respect us and follow the rules.
Another nail in the coffin of public education is reality shows and video games, Snooky. Teen Mom and Grand Theft Auto as the blueprint for dreams of what kids want out of life. God help us! Children as young as 3 watching R rated movies and emulating what they see. We have young kids shooting there friends because they "disrespected them" The young mind is not developed enough. It really doesn't make a firm line between what is real and acceptable behavior and what they see on T.V and in video games. Violence spreads like a disease in American schools
The final nail in the coffin is the growing belief by people who have never been in a classroom that a teacher's pay should be tied to their students test scores. I try daily to make my classroom a safe and engaging place for my students. I believe that all children are capable of great things. I know that not all children have the same aptitude and must be treated as individuals. I am attempting to have 44 individual plans for the 44 students in my care. (Seriously, current thinking says this is what should happen!) I have no control over the laws or the environments my students come from. I work hard to make it interesting, fun and collaborative. I work my butt off to form relationships with kids and keep parents informed. Sometimes this is not enough and some people think my pay should be based on my students success on state tests. This year the criteria for passing the test will be decided after the students take it! As one intelligent man said. "It's throw the dart, and draw the target later." What if I tested like this? It must be fair, cause we are doing it to our children. If the people who want to connect student success with teacher pay get their way' you can write off all of the schools in low income areas. Teacher's will leave economically disadvantaged schools for higher ground. It will be impossible to find qualified teachers to teach at some schools. Those children will suffer. Those children will lose. We will all lose.
What do you think could be done to turn this tragedy around?
Saturday, January 14, 2012
A Purposeful life at the end of a broken road.. (A personal history)
Do you know what your purpose in life is? Have you ever thought about why you are here? Have you ever asked God "Why?"
God has always lead me to work with children. As a girl scout I volunteered at Lighthouse for the Blind and the Center for the Retarded. I taught tennis to disabled children in wheelchairs and swimming to the blind.
My first job at age 14 was working in a Montessori School across the street from my house in Montrose (Houston TX) I was at that school every minute I wasn't in school myself. I loved teaching them new things and putting them down for nap and singing them to sleep. At 16, the irresponsible owner would leave me alone for hours with the kids, Illegal I'm sure, but I loved those kids and God saw to it that there was never an accident. In the evenings I babysat some of those same children, sometimes staying weekends with them while their parents were gone. By the time I was a Senior in High School the Montessori had closed down and I was acting as the day nurse for a wonderful women named Leah. She had ALS and I spent days with her cooking, cleaning administering her medications, and sitting on her bed writing down the memories she wanted to leave behind. Taking care of people was definitely a drive in my life.
I had my son two months after my 19th birthday. It changed my life. I learned that being grown up and responsible for that beautiful bouncing boy wasn't going to be easy. I had not completed Nursing school at St. Thomas University. I had no marketable skills and I married a man who became unemployed soon after Adrian was born and made excuse after excuse for not getting a job. I had to trick him into applying for food stamps after I had to go begging for formula and diapers for my son at a food pantry. Soon after that I ended up leaving Adrian in a daycare for 12 hours a day to be the day nurse for a quadriplegic young lady my age.
Life at home was ugly, and when my parents said they feared that the husband was getting ready to cross state lines with my son and that I would lose my son because states tend to keep children in the state the paper work is filed. My sister and friends came and moved me out within a few hours while the husband was out. I was staying with an ex-boyfriend's fiance, Terri, in a one bedroom apartment with all my boxes stacked along the walls.
Terri worked at the Center for the Retarded and suggested that I apply for an instructional aid position. I loved working with the profoundly disabled. Best of all my son went to daycare in one of the classrooms with about 7 other kids of teachers and I only paid $20 dollars a week. Adrian and I continued down my broken road. I moved to a teaching position with the over 21 year olds. I was in my element. It wasn't work for me. It was joy! When the teacher of the behaviorally involved profoundly disabled was murdered I volunteered to sub. Turns out God had a plan. I became the teacher for that class and with God's help made huge changes in the lives and behavior of my students. (stories for another time)
When Adrian was 2 and 1/2 God sent me Russell Huff. Three years later I was married and quit the Center for the Retarded to go to SHSU for that elusive degree. During this time I was Adrian's cub scout leader and volunteered as a P.A.L. (Parents Assisting Learning) at my son's school. I knew that I would not go into nursing. God wanted me to be a teacher.
People make plans and God laughs. Within a year and two months I was pregnant with Julie and we were moving to Austin. One thing led to another and I was blessed to stay home and had two more girls. College was on hold again. I was blessed to be an Angel with the Gabriel Project and occasionally God sent me young girls considering abortion and I helped them choose life and find the resources to keep the child or give the baby up for adoption.
A few years later a little coal fire power plant in Carlos Texas hired Russell and we moved to Singleton TX, I was blessed to begin a girl scout troop at Anderson-Shiro Elementary and co-led that troop for 6 years. I waited till my youngest was 6 months from starting school and I returned to SHSU for my Education Degree.
I have been teaching for 5 years. I have been blessed to touch the lives of many children. God has used me to make a difference in children's lives. He has given me an opportunity to work with the parents of students in my district this year and I believe that teaching parenting classes is God's will as well.
On this broken road called life, God has been there to catch me and put me back on a path to make a difference in someone life. That is the purpose of my life.
God has always lead me to work with children. As a girl scout I volunteered at Lighthouse for the Blind and the Center for the Retarded. I taught tennis to disabled children in wheelchairs and swimming to the blind.
My first job at age 14 was working in a Montessori School across the street from my house in Montrose (Houston TX) I was at that school every minute I wasn't in school myself. I loved teaching them new things and putting them down for nap and singing them to sleep. At 16, the irresponsible owner would leave me alone for hours with the kids, Illegal I'm sure, but I loved those kids and God saw to it that there was never an accident. In the evenings I babysat some of those same children, sometimes staying weekends with them while their parents were gone. By the time I was a Senior in High School the Montessori had closed down and I was acting as the day nurse for a wonderful women named Leah. She had ALS and I spent days with her cooking, cleaning administering her medications, and sitting on her bed writing down the memories she wanted to leave behind. Taking care of people was definitely a drive in my life.
I had my son two months after my 19th birthday. It changed my life. I learned that being grown up and responsible for that beautiful bouncing boy wasn't going to be easy. I had not completed Nursing school at St. Thomas University. I had no marketable skills and I married a man who became unemployed soon after Adrian was born and made excuse after excuse for not getting a job. I had to trick him into applying for food stamps after I had to go begging for formula and diapers for my son at a food pantry. Soon after that I ended up leaving Adrian in a daycare for 12 hours a day to be the day nurse for a quadriplegic young lady my age.
Life at home was ugly, and when my parents said they feared that the husband was getting ready to cross state lines with my son and that I would lose my son because states tend to keep children in the state the paper work is filed. My sister and friends came and moved me out within a few hours while the husband was out. I was staying with an ex-boyfriend's fiance, Terri, in a one bedroom apartment with all my boxes stacked along the walls.
Terri worked at the Center for the Retarded and suggested that I apply for an instructional aid position. I loved working with the profoundly disabled. Best of all my son went to daycare in one of the classrooms with about 7 other kids of teachers and I only paid $20 dollars a week. Adrian and I continued down my broken road. I moved to a teaching position with the over 21 year olds. I was in my element. It wasn't work for me. It was joy! When the teacher of the behaviorally involved profoundly disabled was murdered I volunteered to sub. Turns out God had a plan. I became the teacher for that class and with God's help made huge changes in the lives and behavior of my students. (stories for another time)
When Adrian was 2 and 1/2 God sent me Russell Huff. Three years later I was married and quit the Center for the Retarded to go to SHSU for that elusive degree. During this time I was Adrian's cub scout leader and volunteered as a P.A.L. (Parents Assisting Learning) at my son's school. I knew that I would not go into nursing. God wanted me to be a teacher.
People make plans and God laughs. Within a year and two months I was pregnant with Julie and we were moving to Austin. One thing led to another and I was blessed to stay home and had two more girls. College was on hold again. I was blessed to be an Angel with the Gabriel Project and occasionally God sent me young girls considering abortion and I helped them choose life and find the resources to keep the child or give the baby up for adoption.
A few years later a little coal fire power plant in Carlos Texas hired Russell and we moved to Singleton TX, I was blessed to begin a girl scout troop at Anderson-Shiro Elementary and co-led that troop for 6 years. I waited till my youngest was 6 months from starting school and I returned to SHSU for my Education Degree.
I have been teaching for 5 years. I have been blessed to touch the lives of many children. God has used me to make a difference in children's lives. He has given me an opportunity to work with the parents of students in my district this year and I believe that teaching parenting classes is God's will as well.
On this broken road called life, God has been there to catch me and put me back on a path to make a difference in someone life. That is the purpose of my life.
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